Stop aiming for more – aim for enough

And the lies they tell us on the hamster wheel

There is this widely held belief that we should be working for more more more…always more.

Never enough, it’s always a fight to keep climbing the ladder whether that is in corporate life or any career we choose.

No one ever asks simply, “are you happy?”

Nope, it’s “what are you working on next?” “When are you having another kid?” Even “where are you traveling next?”

Now, I’m not saying these are all bad things. I’ve written about not trading your time now for later and going on those trips you dream about now if you want to.

This is not that.

This is about a toxic expectation we tend to have on nothing, and I mean nothing ever being enough.

It’s exhausting.

Why are we doing this?

Well, that’s a great question for the masses. Why?

The answer to this question might differ largely on where you live or your family history.

In Japan it’s widely seen as normal to work endlessly for a company and sometimes with overtime and no extra pay for such.

Your family may have raised you to sacrifice all for what the family unit requires. You may in turn do the same as you build your own family.

For many of us it’s a societal thing like in Japan, we grow up believing that we are supposed to give more and more.

Whether that is to a company, our own business, our schooling, our partner, our children doesn’t exactly matter.

A Theory

So, I have this theory that in many of our minds it is uncomfortable to not keep aiming for more. To not always be striving.

It’s the uncomfies the icks.

And we just don’t see the value of “enough”

The idea of “good enough” was started first as “the good enough parent” by psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott.

He worked with parents and realized they were aiming for perfection or simply just more, more, more…but never reaching these goals or ideals they had set for themselves as parents and it was more hindering than helping their children, themselves and their family as a whole.

Yes, you read that correctly, it was a hindrance. An issue that nothing was actually getting better.

The reality

The reality is, if we chose to face it and dig deep to find it within ourselves at least for many of us.

It’s that aiming for enough can be groundbreaking in our lives. It can foster wellbeing, good mental health, even doing much more overall that feeds our lives.

Funny how not striving for everything can often bring us even more in life.

When we can sit there and know when something is good enough in our work, our selves, our homes etc.

Aiming for what works and gets us happy, content, and even on the road to better is so much more useful than this endless hamster wheel.

In conclusion

I believe there is this massive lie we have been raised to believe about “more” instead of enough.

We don’t always require more cars or things or job titles in order to be happy, often this type of more hinders such happiness.

This is not to say you shouldn’t be striving for yourself but more to say you should be considerate of what you are striving for and whether it will bring you want to want it to or if you’d be just as happy with the car you bought 5 years ago if toy framed it all a little differently.